https://www.kim.faith/newsletter-blog daily 0.75 2026-04-21 https://www.kim.faith/newsletter-blog/dont-wait-20-years-to-do-this-like-i-did monthly 0.5 2026-04-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68c0dfeedd32f552accf4925/53cc5c4e-0201-480a-9b1f-faec8406cd28/IMG_8292.png Newsletter (Blog) - Don’t wait 20 years to do this like I did… There are things people try to tell you before you get married... but you never fully grasp them until after you’ve tied the knot. One of those things is the reality that marriage is a collision of two worlds—two ways of life, two rhythms, two mindsets—coming together to become one. And for that to truly work, there has to be adjustment and flexibility, from both sides. “Submit to one another in the fear of God.” (Ephesians 5:21, NKJV) Because you’re not just joining a person and then going on with your life per usual. No, marriage is a new life, a new way of living. When you get married, you’re now learning how to build a life together, a NEW world, that works for both of you according to God’s design. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24, NKJV) Because marriage was never designed for one person to adjust while the other remains the same. It was designed for both—to yield, to grow, and to move toward each other, for the better and for God’s greater purposes. I was reminded of that yesterday. My husband came home from getting his haircut…and he had a craving for biscuits. Let me just say, this man likes him some biscuits. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68c0dfeedd32f552accf4925/aeecf400-abff-43e6-a25a-983cbf146913/IMG_8775.jpg Newsletter (Blog) - Don’t wait 20 years to do this like I did… - He mentioned me making some, and I just looked at him like… you have got to be kidding. My mind immediately went to five hours in the kitchen and a full cleanup after. So I sweetly told him, “I’ll happily go grab you some really good ones and bring them back.” Because at this point—we both know… after 20 years, I still do not know how to make very good biscuits. I’m not even sure I’ve ever made a solid batch. But he didn’t want store-bought or restaurant-made biscuits. Not with all the extra junk in them. He wanted homemade. Real, buttermilk biscuits. And just like that, I was taken right back to the beginning of our marriage. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68c0dfeedd32f552accf4925/756450b9-1e9b-4757-a205-8597e9709b4a/IMG_8801.jpg Newsletter (Blog) - Don’t wait 20 years to do this like I did… - When I first got married, I thought I knew what mattered. A clean kitchen. Order. Things in their place. A good plan. A schedule that made sense. My husband? He cared about good food. Flexibility. Spontaneity. Not casual, thrown-together meals—but good food. It mattered to him. And I had cravings too, but I was able to reason myself out of them. Less than a month married, one of the very first things he asked me to do was learn how to make biscuits and gravy. Now, I wish I could tell you I rose to the occasion…but the truth is, I had a sweet woman come over to teach me, and when I tried on my own, I failed so badly Matt and I were both sick for hours. I’m fairly certain I used enough lard to feed a small village. And yet—he kept asking. Not every day, not every month. But every so often, biscuits—and cooking in general—would come up. Even yesterday, standing in the kitchen, he wasn’t upset that after 20 years I still can’t make biscuits. He just said, “That’s okay, I’ll make them… and you can learn.” I didn’t love that, if I’m being honest. He has more important things to do than making biscuits. And for me, cooking still feels like a mountain of cleanup. Even now, I don’t naturally love being in the kitchen. But it’s something I’ve had to learn. Something I’ve had to adjust to. Because where I came from, making biscuits meant popping open a can, putting them on a pan, and calling it done. Simple? Yes. Good? Not really. So, when we got married, I didn’t fully understand why good food mattered so much to him. And if I’m honest, there were moments I didn’t want to adjust. Moments where I thought, why does this even matter? But marriage has a way of pulling a new world out of you—if you’re willing to see it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68c0dfeedd32f552accf4925/05b431e9-b4fb-46ef-97c9-b9cc45cca6c4/IMG_8802.jpg Newsletter (Blog) - Don’t wait 20 years to do this like I did… She stayed humble and she didn’t push her own way: “Esther had not disclosed her people or her lineage, because Mordecai had charged her not to disclose it” (Esther 2:10). She was teachable. She took counsel. She didn’t cling to what she was used to—she listened and adjusted: “When the turn came for Esther… she asked for nothing except what Hegai, the king’s eunuch… advised” (Esther 2:15). There was a humility in her—a willingness to be guided as she stepped into something unfamiliar (Esther 2:10, 2:20). And that willingness is what won the king’s heart. How much more in marriage? The king saw a humility, a grace, a sweetness in Esther that the other women didn’t carry (Esther 2:17). Later, when it came time to approach the king about a very serious matter, she didn’t rush in demanding her way. She moved with wisdom, patience, and understanding of timing (Esther 5:1–2). And because of that…she found favor: “Now it happened on the third day that Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court… When the king saw Queen Esther… she found favor in his sight…” (NKJV) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68c0dfeedd32f552accf4925/b2e250e8-b715-498d-9354-14b433b8bc92/IMG_8778.jpg Newsletter (Blog) - Don’t wait 20 years to do this like I did… But like Esther, lean in anyway—because these places are often tied to something greater. For Esther, her posture affected the plan of God for His people. And then I think about Ruth. Before she ever met Boaz, before the redemption, before the blessing—she had to leave everything familiar. Her land. Her people. Her way of life. “Where you go, I will go… your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.” (Ruth 1:16, NKJV) She stepped into a completely different world—different customs, different expectations—not knowing how it would all unfold. And it was in that place—of surrender, of adjustment, of trust—that God positioned her for everything that came next. Even becoming part of the lineage of Jesus. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/68c0dfeedd32f552accf4925/3b360204-f0bd-477c-b153-6c3ac843d898/IMG_8805.jpg Newsletter (Blog) - Don’t wait 20 years to do this like I did… Sometimes the very things we have to adjust to—the things that stretch us, refine us, even frustrate us—are the very places God wants to use. In marriage, it’s about both husband and wife adjusting for the greater cause. It’s not one person bending while the other stays the same. It’s about two people—both willing. There were things that mattered to me that didn’t come naturally to Matt—and he chose to adjust too. Something as simple as the way he dressed, he was willing to change for me—not because he had to, but because it mattered to me. That’s what makes marriage work and grow into something beyond just ourselves. If we weren’t willing to adjust in something small, we never would have gotten to the bigger things that mattered. 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