CHRISTMAS LETTER: Hold Your Peace

“Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” (Luke 2:14, NKJV)

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6, KJV)

PEACE. It’s a wonderful thing when you have it… and horrible when you don’t. To celebrate and enjoy this peace that Jesus the Prince of Peace has gifted us, is among other things the very heart of the Christmas season:

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. (Isaiah 53:5, KJV)

Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; My [perfect] peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.” (John 14:27, AMP)

Yet how easily our peace can be lost if we are not on guard. During this Christmas holiday, if there was one line of advice I could give you, it would be to HOLD YOUR PEACE.

Even a fool, when he holds his peace, is counted wise; and he who shuts his lips is esteemed a man of understanding. (Proverbs 17:28, MEV)

At a time when most of us are together with our spouses and families more than usual, again and again our mouths have been left unguarded, and we have lost our peace. Instead of watching our mouths—holding our peace—we’ve completely let them go. Is it not interesting that holding our peace is directly connected to guarding our mouths?

Whoever guards his mouth and tongue Keeps his soul [and his family’s soul] from troubles. (Proverbs 21:23, NKJV)

Hours and days, when we should have been enjoying peaceful times together, have been wasted, even ruined, on account of us opening our big mouths. 

Was it worth it? Never. There is never any expressed opposite opinion, thought, or selfish ambition that is worth the price of peace.

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips. (Psalm 141:3, NKJV)

According to the Bible, when it comes to our mouths, less is more. And I’m sure you’ve noticed it too, but most of the time, the reason we open our big mouths and lose our peace is because of pride. We think we know the answers, we think we have a better solution, we think our opinion is greater, we think they aren’t seeing the whole picture like we are, etc. etc.

If you have been foolish in lifting up yourself, or if you have thought evil, put your hand on your mouth. Surely the churning of milk brings forth butter, and the wringing of the nose brings forth blood, so the forcing of wrath brings forth strife. (Proverbs 30:32-33, MEV)

When we give voice to prideful/selfish thoughts, we lose our peace and strife is the result. Check out Proverbs 28:25 in a few different translations:

He who is of a proud heart stirs up strife, But he who trusts in the Lord will be prospered. (NKJV)

Selfishness only causes trouble. You are much better off to trust the Lord. (GNT)

A proud man starts fights, but all will go well for the man who trusts in the Lord. (NLV)

You see, if there is contention or strife going on, that is automatic lack of peace. And these contentions and strives are only brought on by prideful and selfish thinking:

Pride causes arguments, but those who listen to others are wise. (Proverbs 13:10, ERV)

Listening to others? Now there’s a new thought…

Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom. (Proverbs 13:10, KJV)

Strives be ever among proud men; but they that do all things with counsel, be governed by wisdom. (There is always strife, or arguments, among the proud; but they who do all things with advice, be governed by wisdom.) (Proverbs 13:10, WYC)

Talking about being governed by wisdom, Proverbs says this about wisdom: “Her ways are ways of pleasantness, And all her paths are peace” (3:17, NKJV).

Proverbs also says that a wise person can pacify the anger of a king. If that’s so, then a wise person can also pacify the anger of their spouse (Proverbs 16:14).

Rather than being selfish and prideful which stirs up strife, we can use the wisdom of God. Wisdom will look ahead to see the effect of what you will do or say. Wisdom says, “If I do this, then this will happen; if I say this, then this will happen, so I’m going to do/say this instead.” Thinking about how what we do or say will affect others is love, walking in love, and walking in the wisdom of God:

For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace. (James 3:16-18, KJV)

So, again, one phrase for this Christmas season, hold your peace. Let’s not allow our lips to bring strife, or pride and selfishness to steal the peace:

A fool’s lips bring strife, And his mouth calls for blows. (Proverbs 18:6, NASB ’95)

A fool gets into constant fights. His mouth is his undoing! His words endanger him. (Proverbs 18:6-7, TLB)

It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. (Proverbs 20:3, NIV)

As if strife is a water faucet and our mouths the lever, we are advised to never even turn it on!

The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with. (Proverbs 17:14, KJV)

What will keep us from getting into strife and losing our peace? Humility.

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. (Philippians 2:3-4, KJV)



If we are looking out for our spouse first, esteeming our family better than ourselves, considering others as more important, then strife will be hard to come by and peace will flow freely:

Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another… Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion… If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. (Romans 12:10,16,18, NKJV)

As we obey these words of wisdom from the Word of God, His peace will rule and flow like a river in our homes:

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since… you were called to peace. And be thankful. (Colossians 3:15, NIV)

If you had obeyed me, then peace would have come to you like a full flowing river. Good things would have come to you again and again, like the waves of the sea. (Isaiah 48:18, ERV)

Is there anything better than the peace of God ruling in our homes? Is there any granted selfish desire that is worth the price of peace? Is there any prideful aspiration, any selfish, fleshly word spoken, or any won argument that is worth trading for the peaceful presence of God?

But the fruit of the Spirit is peace… We must not become conceited, challenging or provoking one another… (Galatians 5:22 & 26, AMP)

Can a house full of strife, though it is filled with presents under the tree and a fancy Christmas dinner, beat a house full of peace, though it has not much at all?

Better a bite of dry bread eaten in peace than a family feast filled with strife. (Proverbs 17:1, NOG)

Better is a dry morsel [of food served] with quietness and peace Than a house full of feasting [served] with strife and contention. (Proverbs 17:1, AMP)

But can we not have both? Why, yes, we can.

The work of righteousness will be peace, And the effect of righteousness, quietness and assurance forever. My people will dwell in a peaceful habitation, In secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places… (Isaiah 32:17-18, NKJV)

You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. (Isaiah 26:3, NKJV)

If you want to enjoy your time with your friends and family, with your spouse specifically… “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil…” (1 Peter 3:10, NLT)

And finally, dear family, farewell. Be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you. Greet your [spouse] with a holy kiss(es). (2 Cor. 13:11-12)

Merry Christmas,

Matt and Jess