Faith & Patience In the Meantime
If you are married, you know what I mean when I say that being married gives you one opportunity after another to develop your faith—you are constantly seeing things in one another that could be changed and bettered! This is why marriage takes faith.
For we walk by faith, not by sight. (2 Cor. 5:7)
Faith in God.
The very nature of faith is when you believe in something that you don’t yet see in the natural realm because of what you know is true in the spirit realm. That is faith. When you live by faith, you live by operating in the unseen realm, based on God’s Word. And as you remain in faith, you begin to see the very things you were believing for coming to pass in the seen realm (physical realm).
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Heb. 11:1, NKJV)
Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen. (Heb. 11:1, CSB)
Trusting is being confident of what we hope for, convinced about things we do not see. (Heb. 11:1, CJB)
If there are things in your marriage relationship that you know aren’t as good as God (and you) wants them to be, then don’t give up, and don’t take matters into your own hands by trying to fix them yourself. This will take some restraint! Especially when the issues are staring you in the face! Instead, have faith in God!
I can remember a specific time in my marriage when Matt had to turn his heart and mind to the Lord to believe for me because I wasn’t getting it myself. We’ve been married almost 20 years, so you can imagine we’ve had many opportunities to believe God for one another. In this particular season, I had been in a fog, a spiritual fog. It was like I couldn’t see a foot in front of me, spiritually speaking. Without going into lots of detail, this “fog” I was in started to take a heavy toll on our relationship. Matt tried helping, tried talking me through things, tried discussing things, but to no avail. I had gotten to a place—sad to admit—where, when he would talk to me about it, I would just get harder and harder. So, what did he do? I thank God that he took the problem to the Lord and decided to pray for me instead of pushing me. Instead of putting pressure on me to change, he got QUIET about it, and he put his faith in God!
For our marriages to grow and thrive, we must have faith in God! We must look to God and away from the issues. The issues can be changed when we do it God’s way. The Bible is full of promises for our marriage, but how do we get to where we begin to SEE these promises for our marriage coming to pass? In order to see these changes, Hebrews 6:12 tells us we need two things:
We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. (NIVUK)
Faith alone isn’t enough. In order to experience and see God’s promises coming to pass, we are also going to need some patience, or endurance. I heard it said once that faith and patience are best friends. Faith that sees lasting results requires patience. The word patience indicates there is a passage of time. Patience is activated in the time between the start of faith and the end result of your faith. Having faith and patience working together means that YOU DON’T GIVE UP on what you believe—you don’t give up on your spouse or marriage, you don’t give up on what God is doing—just because you haven’t seen it yet. Even if it looks like it’s gotten worse!
When God made His promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for Him to swear by, He swore by Himself, saying, “I will surely bless you and give you many descendants.” And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised. (Hebrews 6:13-15, NIV)
Faith and patience together cause you to be unmoved in the face of even the worst circumstances. Because of this steadfastness, you WILL see God’s promises coming to pass in your life. No matter what you see right now, don’t allow those “seen” things to cause you to give up. All God needs is a little faith and patience.
I like what one minister always says:
You don’t have any problems! All you need is FAITH IN GOD!
Why would he proclaim that so confidently? Because he knew the reality of the impact of having FAITH IN GOD, despite what is seen. Faith in God changes what is seen.
[Abraham] did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what [God] had promised [God] was also able to perform. (Romans 4:20-21, NKJV)
In my last email, I shared a key to seeing lasting changes in our marriages, in our spouses. We talked about the significance of praying and asking God for laborers. If you didn’t get a chance to read it, I encourage you to go back and read it! Laborers are ones who are sent and anointed by God to affect change in someone’s life. These laborers can be a myriad of different people, situations, or circumstances that causes someone to have a change of perspective, coming to their senses, and resulting in heart change. But where it gets messy in marriage is when one spouse or the other sees things that need to be changed in the other spouse. So, they step in—UNANOINTED by God—and strive to “fix” their spouse, to “change” them and pressure them to do what they want or to get them to see things how they want them to see it. Like we said in the last letter, straining to affect change this way most always makes things worse. It’s not how God says to do it.
God has ways of doing things, and one way is through laborers—those HE SENDS on our spouse’s behalf as a result of our praying and asking Him. Like I said, go back and read the previous letter if you haven’t… but if your spouse is not open to receiving from you in an area, or isn’t seeing things correctly, rather than you continuing to push and pull, and yank and clank, and kick and prick, PRAY INSTEAD.
No matter what the issue is in your marriage, it’s not too big for God and all He needs is your persistent trust in Him. When you trust God with something, you aren’t trying to fix it. Trusting Him, having faith in HIM and in HIS ability to fix something, is putting the problem in His hands, once and for all. And real faith doesn’t take it back! If you really prayed in faith to God that He would bring laborers across your spouse’s life, then you know God is working. If you truly believe you receive what you prayed, you will have true thankfulness coming from your heart to God. Thank Him for the work He is doing! Go back and read those scriptures we had in the last email about how it is God Who does the work. He is able and He will do it!
We have discussed LOTS AND LOTS in previous letters about Scriptural principles to pray for our marriages and spouses. If you are new to this mailing list and are hungry to do some praying for your marriage, to see lasting results, then reach out to me! I’ll send you some Biblical foundational teaching and Scriptural prayers that you can make personal for you and your spouse. God’s Word works! The Bible says our prayers, based on His Word, are powerful and effective!
The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working]. (James 5:16, AMPC)
Today, I want to get into what we do AFTER we’ve prayed. What do we do WHILE we are continuing steadfastly in prayer—What do we do in the MEANTIME? The meantime is the time in between—when the unseen that you are believing for is becoming the seen. So, what do you do during this time?
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. (Mark 11:24, NIV)
This is the confidence which we have before [God], that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him. (1 John 5:14-15, NASB)
According to the Word, what do you do during this time, the time after you’ve prayed?
The first thing you do, is you believe you’ve received what you have prayed. The Bible really says it that simply: believe that you have it. It’s a choice. You believe that no matter how you feel, despite what it looks like or doesn’t look like, regardless of what your spouse is or is not doing, even if it seems to be getting worse, you believe that God IS DOING…that GOD IS WORKING… that GOD IS CHANGING and FIXING. (Allow me to interject. The changes you are believing for are most always NOT one-sided changes. You’ll find, if you are open and receptive, God will be having you do some changing, too.)
Through the years there have been many instances where I have gotten in faith for my marriage about a situation—I had prayed and was thanking God and trusting that He was moving, but things didn’t look like it and it just didn’t “feel” like anything was working. However, the times when I stayed patient and endured and continued to trust the Lord despite how I felt, it turned out that God was working all the while.
Many times, when I thought my husband wasn’t budging, it turned out God WAS INDEED working in him. SO, SO many times, I would find out later that God had been speaking to him and showing him things—revealing to him things—and Matt was just being quiet about it, letting it all sink in. He was being quiet as he allowed God to establish the change on the inside of him. I had to give God some time with my spouse; and give my spouse some time with God. Afterall, I am not his “lord” and if he is ONLY changing for me, it might not last. But when he changes as a result of his love for THE LORD, then it will last. Most of these instances God was working in him, but Matt wasn’t saying a word about it to me. And he didn’t have to. But if I had grown impatient, stepped in, and attempted to talk to him about it, I could have muddied up the water. I could have gotten in the way and made it hard for the Lord to finish what He was doing, and it’s possible no change would have taken place at all.
Even though it took some time, I would always be so humbled and thankful to God when Matt would eventually come to me and tell me what God had been dealing with him about. The fear of God would touch my heart as I realized how close I was to ruining it all. And thank God I kept my mouth shut! You know what I mean? Thank God.
Now, back to the meantime. Once you’ve believed that you receive what you’ve prayed, and time continues to pass, do you stop praying? What do you do next? How do we stay in faith and patience in the “meantime”?
Colossians 4:2 spells it out for us very nicely (in a few different versions to get the full picture):
Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving; (NKJV)
Pray, and keep praying. Be alert and thankful when you pray. (VOICE)
Persevere in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving; (NABRE)
Never stop praying. Be ready for anything by praying and being thankful. (ERV)
Keep persisting in prayer, staying alert in it and being thankful. (CJB)
Keep on praying and guard your prayers with thanksgiving. (CEB)
Don’t be weary in prayer; keep at it; watch for God’s answers, and remember to be thankful when they come. (TLB)
Be earnest and unwearied and steadfast in your prayer [life], being [both] alert and intent in [your praying] with thanksgiving. (AMPC)
WOW. Great revelation from Colossians 4:2.
Three points to staying in faith while in our praying:
1. Keep praying, don’t quit. Keep letting God use your prayers to affect a change.
2. Be vigilant (watchful, alert, aware) so you know how to pray as the Spirit of God leads you.
3. Be thankful because you believe you have received what you prayed.
Let’s delve into these points just a minute:
Number One: Part of staying in faith is shown in how we continue on in prayer, persistent and unwearied (not giving up, not losing patience)—praying for our spouse, for our marriage, and for ourselves. If we believe that we receive when we pray, why do we “keep praying”? We don’t pray the same thing over and over again, but we do keep praying. We pray as the Holy Spirit leads us. We pray out His will and His plan for our marriage and spouse. Like the TLB translation says, we keep at it, watching for God’s answers. This is where praying in the Spirit comes in wonderfully because the Bible says we don’t always know what to pray or how to pray, but the Holy Spirit will lead us and help us (Romans 8:26-27). So, we yield to Him in prayer and He helps us pray out things concerning what we are praying about, and in this case, our spouse and marriage.
You must pray at all times as the Holy Spirit leads you to pray. Pray for the things that are needed. You must watch and keep on praying. Remember to pray for [your spouse]. (Eph. 6:18, NLV)
Pray in the Spirit at all times. Pray with all kinds of prayers, and ask for everything you need. To do this you must always be ready. Never give up. Always pray for all of God’s people [your spouse]. (Eph. 6:18, ERV)
Number Two: The next part of staying in faith is shown in your vigilance in prayer. What is vigilance? Vigilance means you are on the lookout; you are watchful and aware. What are you looking for when you are praying? What are you watching for, what are you aware of? While you are praying [for your spouse], you are looking to the Lord for His leading and for what He would have you to pray. You are watching in the Spirit for answers and direction. You are looking to the Lord for anything He would want to say to you about this and for specific things He would have you to pray about concerning this. You are being open and alert to anything the Lord would say. He is able to show things to you and reveal things you wouldn’t have seen or known otherwise.
Also, vigilant praying keeps you guarded against your own fleshly tendencies. Continuing in prayer keeps you attentive/awake/vigilant/aware of where the enemy would like to use your own fleshly weaknesses against you and your spouse in this situation (like my example above when I was tempted to say something to Matt when I wasn’t seeing results as fast as I wanted.)
Look at Mark 14:38 with this in mind:
Keep watching and praying, so that you will not come into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. (NASB)
You must keep awake and you must pray. Then you will not want to do something wrong. You really want to do the right thing, but your body is weak. (EASY)
In connection with this, praying vigilantly will also ensure we continue praying from a heart of love—we are staying aware of our love walk. Our faith works by our love (Gal. 5:6), so none of this means anything at all if we step off the path of love during the process.
But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God… (Jude 1:20-21, NASB)
Vigilant, watchful praying keeps you prepared for anything! It keeps you in the love of God and in faith and in patience. From this perspective, we can see that continual, vigilant praying for our spouse is just as much for us as it is for them. We, too, benefit from praying!
Number Three: Part of staying in faith is shown in your THANKFULNESS. When is someone thankful? Why is someone ever thankful? Because they received something. Thankfulness shows that you have received something. If you aren’t thankful, then you haven’t believed that you have received. If you wait to be thankful until you SEE it in the natural realm, then you were never in faith to begin with. Faith is thankful in the “meantime.” Thankfulness to God reveals the faith and trust you have towards Him.
I like how the CEB translation says that thanksgiving is how we “guard” our prayers. Thanksgiving guards us and keeps us in faith. Thanksgiving is what we do in the “meantime.” What does this look like? You thank and praise God the whole process through. Thanksgiving sees it to the end.
The entire process is filled with thanksgiving in your heart and mouth, praising God and giving Him thanks for what He is doing. We thank Him for the miracle, wonder-working power (like we talked about in the last email) that is affecting change, even though we don’t see the fulness of it yet. We keep thanking and praising Him knowing that He is working mightily in our spouse and in our marriage, and in ourselves.
All three of these aspects—persistent prayer, vigilant prayer, and thankful prayer—helps to keep you in the love of God, in the patience of Christ, and in faith through this whole trying and testing process. You will come out the other side of this with the victory.
One of my favorite verses reminds us that the very way we overcome is by our faith:
For whoever has been born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world: our faith. (1 John 5:4, NASB)
For everyone born of God is victorious and overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has conquered and overcome the world—our [continuing, persistent] faith [in Jesus the Son of God]. (1 John 5:4, AMPC)
I know you love your spouse, as I love mine.
The Word reveals that this love itself is full of faith: Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Cor. 13:7)
Persisting in faith with you,
We love you,
Matthew and Jessica
P.S. Remember the Word says that Jesus is the AUTHOR AND FINISHER of your faith.
Again, Won’t He do it??!
Yes, He will!