Follow the Yellow Brick Road

There is a marriage to be obtained for each of us, one so gloriously good and fulfilling, so heavenly—yes, heavenly—you’d almost think it’s a fairytale. For most of us, it’s the very marriage we first set out to achieve, thinking we easily would.

Yet, why have so many started out confidently down the happy-marriage trail, only to end up somewhere else, with something else, and oftentimes with someone else—and not at all happy?

Where did they get off? What went wrong?

I remember the day, not long into my marriage, when I sat there thinking, This is not like I thought it would be. This is not how I imagined we would be, nor where would be. Is this what I signed up for? Take me back, Jesus!

Things were anything but heavenly!

And it wasn’t because Matt wasn't who I thought he was! I, on the other hand…

In that first year of marriage, I quickly found myself yelling at Matt, yelling at the devil, and even yelling at God!

I was not an old yeller! How did I become this crazy wife overnight? I know I started off on the right path, I know he’s the right guy… but somewhere not far along the way, I had gotten way off.

My wife ways had begun to resemble the ways of the ungodly woman from Proverbs:

She does not ponder the path of life; her ways wander, and she does not know it. (Proverbs 5:6, ESV)

Think about it. How does one get off from the path when on the way to anywhere? It’s not rocket science. By not following the right map, by taking the wrong turns.

We’ve all been on that road trip—pre-smartphones—where somehow, we ended up hours out of the way only to realize we were following the wrong directions, or had taken a wrong turn, and now in a destination we never wanted to be!

As a young wife, early in our marriage, I had found myself in a place I never wanted to be.

It’s easy to begin our journey with the right destination in mind, knowing exactly where we want to go… but if we are following the wrong map—or even ignoring the map, thinking we know what we’re doing—we will never get there.

And it shouldn’t be a surprise.

"Who leave the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness." (Prov. 2:13, KJV)

So, what map are you following? Are you even following a map? Or are you just wandering?

What path are you on?

There’s only one that leads to a glorious, heavenly marriage. Yes, only one.

Like Dorothy, when she asked the Good Witch of the North, “Can you help me find my way?” I believe the hearts of many wives are asking the same thing.

Whether they didn’t have the right map to begin with, whether they took wrongs turns (in their actions or in their heart along the way), or whether they got off the path all together, many have lost their way.

They’ve gone through the tornado of marriage, only to find themselves unsure of how to get back to where it was good again.

Is there a way? Is there a path?

Can a new wife be guaranteed a happy marriage? Can a wife ten, twenty years in get on the path to a happy marriage, once again?

Is there an answer?

Good news, yes. There was answer for Dorothy when she found herself on the other side of a tornado, lost and unsure of the path home, and there is a hope-filled answer for each of us:

A Glorious Path leading to the glorious marriage of your heart’s desire.

BUT, as the Good Witch of the North told Dorothy, we too, must:

“Follow the yellow brick road.”

You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11)

We don’t get there following grandma’s way, we don’t get there by following the counselor’s way, we don’t get there following the world’s way, and we surely don’t get there following our own way.

And in some cases, we don’t get there following our mother’s ways.

A glorious, heavenly marriage can only be found ONE way. God’s Way.

God’s way of wisdom leads to pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. (Proverbs 3:17)

Picture the Bible laid out before you as one massive map of the United States. If every good thing God has promised you is represented as a town or city on this massive map, then depending on your spiritual location, there will be a certain path He will lead YOU to take that will intersect each promise.

For example, if I need to get to Healing-ville, there is a path the Lord will lead ME to take to get to Healing-ville.

Since you are located somewhere else on the map, your path to Healing-ville won’t look the same as mine.

If we need to get to the City of Abundance, or Obedient-Kid City, or Fertility-town, we each have a God-given path to get us there. My path won’t look the same as yours because we each are in different spiritual locations.

And if we need to get to Glorious Marriage Land, there is one path, individual and exclusive, that takes you to the marriage of your dreams.

You are different than me, your husband and your marriage are different than mine. And while we are both on our way to the same Glorious Marriage Land, using the same MAP, our paths going there won’t look exactly the same.

God’s Way, His Word, is the treasure map that truly discovers the golden treasure; it’s the yellow brick road to the Emerald City of Oz, and it’s the only path leading to a genuinely divine marriage, with intersections of goodness all along the way.

It’s true, the Bible does say God’s ways are higher than our ways. But it’s not true in the way people often quote that verse. It doesn’t mean His way is too lofty for us to understand and follow. If that were true, we might as well throw the Bible away.

It means His way is better than our way—and when we follow it, we are led to bigger, better, higher and greater!

Trust the Lord completely, and don’t depend on your own knowledge. With every step you take, think about what He wants, and He will help you go the right way. (Proverbs 3:5-6, ERV)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6, NKJV)

This is why I believe these emails (and other Biblical resources for marriage) are so important. If the Bible is a massive map with one path to success for each of the multiple areas in our lives, these emails serve as a highlighter, highlighting God’s specific path to the Land of Glorious Marriage.

For every good result in life, there’s a yellow brick road to be followed. If you get off, you won’t get where you’re going.

Unlike what Constantine said, not all roads lead to Rome.

The path you follow determines where you end up.

Ponder the path of your feet, And let all your ways be established. (Proverbs 4:26, NKJV)

We all want a glorious, happy marriage, but it can only come one way. Depending on where you learned from, you may have to go back and unlearn some things, and then even relearn some things.

Did you learn from that talk show or soap opera? From your pastor, or from that sitcom? From that seemingly-perfect marriage on Instagram, or the famous marriage blog?

No matter where or how you learned, you surely learned one of two points of view (there are only two): The world’s way, or God’s way, and never the twain shall meet. The two paths will never resemble each other and both have totally different destinations.

Do not enter the path of the wicked and do not walk in the way of the evil. (Proverbs 4:14)

Lemme ask you something. Should I be shocked if I got in the car with hopes of going to Kansas City, yet followed the map to St. Louis, and ended up in St. Louis?

Sounds silly, right? But that’s exactly what we’ve done in our marriages.

We’ve set out for Happy Marriage Land, following the world’s path, other paths, our own paths, and we’re shocked we don’t have a happy marriage.

You see, in order to ever truly obtain a glorious marriage, we must remain loyal to the one-and-only path guaranteed to lead us to a glorious happy marriage, when we follow it:

The Word of God.

Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path. (Psalm 119:105, NKJV)

Maybe I sound like a broken record, but this is life-changing revelation if we follow it. The Bible has the solution for any and every issue in our marriages.

The Word of God is to be every Godly wife’s standard to live by and path to follow—she never has to wonder what to do as a wife or how to do be a wife. The Bible has an answer for it all.

All Scripture is inspired by God and beneficial for teaching, for rebuke, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man or woman of God may be fully capable, equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17, NASB)

The God-breathed, God-inspired living Scripture has everything we need to be thoroughly equipped for our help mate job.

There will always be an excuse as to why you CAN’T follow God’s Word for wives—your flesh will give you hundreds per day, your feelings will give you excuses, and no doubt the enemy is great at giving excuses.

Wanting God-results (a glorious marriage) without doing it God’s way only causes you to be led astray (James 1:22).

Blessed are the wives who hear the Word of God and actually follow it (Luke 11:28).

The world has a way (and we can all see how that’s working out) and God has a way.

If we want real results, we must stop and be honest with ourselves, dissecting our lives and all of our “ways” to see if we match God’s ways.

Are we following His path?

I thought about my own ways and turned my feet to Your way. (Psalm 119:59)

As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him. (2 Samuel 22:31, NKJV)

I’ve seen so many view the Bible as “this massive religious book that is beautiful on the bookshelf but who really opens it?” Who actually does what it says?? Not in this day and age, right?”

And they wonder why their marriage is a mess, their kids are a mess, their health is a mess, and their lives are a mess.

It’s no wonder! Surrounded by a new culture and ever-changing society, do His words no longer pertain to us?

Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away. (Matthew 24:35, NKJV)

Has God’s way of being a wife been done away with?? Is it now a thing of the past?

If so, then you can count on good marriages being a thing of the past.

Countless Christian wives are desperately looking to doctors, psychiatrists, marriage coaches, relationship coaches, online forums and what-nots, hoping to get answers, tips, and tricks for their marriages. Yet all of these resources are detours from the path!

Follow the yellow brick road!

Know where you are headed, and you will stay on solid ground! (Proverbs 4:26, CEV)

Show me Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your paths. (Psalm 25:4, NKJV)

When I saw I was headed down the path of divorce, I quickly humbled myself and took a step or two back to see what God was saying.

What was He telling me to do? What did His Word tell me to say/do/be?

My obedience to His Word could not be dependent on my feelings, on my husband’s obedience to the Word, or on what other’s around me were doing.

My obedience to God’s Word to me as a wife was solely reliant on my love for the Lord and for His Word.

If I wanted to see change in my wife-ness and in my marriage, I had to love something more than my selfish need to be right.

I had to love something more than the desire to make Matt do what I wanted, etc.

I had to love the Word more.

Everything around us is changing, but one thing always stays the same—God’s Word, His Path—a firm solidity for our lives and our marriages.

Godly wives compare everything to the everlasting, never-changing, and absolute Word of God.

If it doesn’t match, we throw it out—no matter whose book we are reading! No matter what the professional says, no matter what was said in the online marriage forum, not matter the PhD they have.

You get my point?!

We have one way, and only one, that gives real results for a glorious, heavenly marriage.

Blessed is every wife who walks in His ways. (Psalm 128:1)

You get the world’s results when you look to the world’s way.

You end up at the world’s destinations when you follow the world’s paths.

But if we want different results, we’ve got to be willing and diligent to do things differently.

We’ve got to be willing to look to the Lord to direct the steps of our paths.

What delight comes to the one who follows God’s ways! He won’t walk in step with the wicked, nor share the sinner’s way, nor be found sitting in the scorner’s seat. His pleasure and passion is remaining true to the Word of “I Am,” meditating day and night in the true revelation of light. He will be standing firm like a flourishing tree planted by God’s design, deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss, bearing fruit in every season of his life. He is never dry, never fainting, ever blessed, ever prosperous. God’s path is the only path worth following. (Psalm 1:1-3, TPT)

To make it easy on you, I have a treasury full of scriptures revealing God’s path for wives already compiled. I can send them to you if you are interested.

I encourage you to feed on the Word as much as you can, solidifying His Way in your heart in a greater, deeper manner.

As you read marriage scriptures, pray Psalm 25:4, asking the Lord to show you His way and to teach you His paths.

Trust me! His Way works!!

I can promise you, from personal experience, that no matter how hard it is in the moment, when you do marriage God’s way, following His path, you will surely see heavenly results that are indescribable and certainly incomparable to a marriage done any other way.

You can do it!

Follow the Yellow Brick Road,

Jess