You Are Being Watched

Knowing someone’s watching you is great incentive for making sure you are doing all you know.

…He was being carefully watched. (Luke 14:1, NIV)

My husband and I, on a drive the other day, were talking about our daughter Miah. He was so sweetly reminding me that she is watching my EVERY MOVE (yep), and has even begun imitating my ways.

It’s not that she is consciously watching and then purposefully imitating; but the law remains true—She will become what she beholds.

What she IS observing isn’t horrible. What we were really discussing is what she ISN’T seeing.

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

When Miah was little, the Lord spoke something to my husband about training children. He said,
“If it’s true that whatever you train them in they will HAVE when they are older, then it’s also true that whatever you don’t train them in, they WON’T have when they get older.”

We can’t assume our children will get the training they need from outside the home. It is our God-given responsibility, calling, privilege, and honor as parents to make sure we are giving our children everything they need for now and for later.

What they see is what they’ll do, and whatever they don’t see is also whatever they won’t do.

There are things our children—and since we are wives, particularly our daughters—will learn from us and should learn from us.

As they observe us, there are things they are seeing us do, and there may be things they aren’t seeing us do. I’ve learned I must take the initiative and make the effort to demonstrate ALL the good things for her to observe and learn from.

I want to be confident I am able to say this to her when she gets older:

You know the teachings I gave you, and you know what you heard me say and saw me do. So follow my example. And God, who gives peace, will be with you. (Philippians 4:9, CEV)

It is our duty to GIVE THEM AN EXAMPLE in every area so no area is missing.

Just like Paul for the Thessalonians, there are things we must do ON PURPOSE for our children to see:

We did this to give you an example to imitate… (2 Thessalonians 3:9, CEB)

In our conversation, Matt was describing to me:

“She sees the administrative, hard-working side of you; she is seeing and learning the diligent housewife and even the ‘faithful servant of people side’ of you, but is she seeing the sweet, loving, gentle, and affectionate-to-your-husband side? Taking care of him, anticipating his needs, loving on him, showing affection and compassion?”

Miah knows I love him—as seen by acts of service and other things—but is she seeing what it looks like to love a husband with words of affirmation, or with a splash of physical touch?

Is she only seeing the strong business side of marriage? Or is she also seeing the sweet, fun-loving, tender and passionate side? Am I setting a full example for her of all the angles of wifehood?

For you, it may be something totally different. I’m simply opening up on what it is for me.

Let’s read this next verse knowing that we are this “older woman” and our daughters are these “young women” needing trained:

…that old-women similarly be reverent in behavior, not slanderous, not having been enslaved to much wine, teachers-of-good, in order that they may train the young women to be husband-lovers, children-lovers, sound-minded, pure, working-at-home, good, while being subject to their own husbands, in order that the word of God may not be blasphemed. (Titus 2:3-5, DLNT)

Am I training Miah to be a husband-lover? A children-lover? Am I training her to be subject to her husband? Are we training our kids to be reverent in their behavior and to work in their homes?

Another translation says it like this:

Also, teach the older women to live the way those who serve the Lord should live. They should not go around saying bad things about others or be in the habit of drinking too much. They should teach what is good. By doing this they will teach the younger women to love their husbands and children. They will teach them to be wise and pure, to take care of their homes, to be kind, and to be willing to serve their husbands. Then no one will be able to criticize the teaching God gave us. (ERV)

So who is doing all this training?

We are.

We can’t assume they’ll just automatically learn something, somehow and someway.

A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher. (Luke 6:40, ESV)

Let us all be more deliberate in what we are demonstrating for our children.

Do I want Miah to be sweet, affectionate, and loving to her husband? Then I must demonstrate that for her.

If all she sees is my hard-working side, she might not end up learning the sweet, at-ease, resting-in-his-arms, waiting-on-him side.

What are your children seeing, and what are they not seeing?

Are we able to confidently say to them, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ”? (1 Cor. 11:1)

You should be an example for them in every way by the good things you do. (Titus 2:7, ERV)

Now I don’t have a son yet, but the same works with moms and their sons. What your son sees or doesn’t see in you is what he will expect or NOT expect from his wife.

We want our kids to be able to read verses like this next one with the ability to do them, because we have truly given them something good to follow:

Remember those who have the oversight of you, who have declared to you the word of God. See that you look upon the way they live out their life, and follow their faith. (Hebrews 13:7, NMB)

For I have given you this as an example, so that you should do [in your turn] what I have done to you. (John 13:15, AMPC)

Their turn is coming. Do they have what they need? Have they seen what they need to see in order to emulate correctly? Is what they have seen worth copying?

I’m being honest and asking myself,

Am I giving Miah something to follow in every aspect of wifehood?

Does she see me showing affection to my husband?

Does she see me prefer him on the regular?

Even though I think I do prefer him in most all my actions, am I making it a point to let her see it?

Even though I show him lots of affection in private, am I making it a point to let her see me being gentle and sweet to him with kisses on the cheek, soft shoulder rubs, or holding hands?

Now do your own reality check up! You know what areas you need to demonstrate more for your own children. The Lord will show you and definitely help you.

This isn’t something to worry about or get in fear about or be pressured on! God gave you those children and He has given you everything you need to be all they need, you just have to yield to it.

On top of that, He is totally capable of bringing many, many people across their paths who are wonderful examples to learn from. Don’t get bogged down and condemned about anything.

You can do it because you have the Greater One inside of you.

And maybe you don’t have children living in the home with you. I can still guarantee you, no matter what, someone is watching you.

As children of God, we were made to be seen, watched, and observed as shining lights of God’s love and goodness on every side and in all things.

…that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world… (Philippians 2:15)

Love you bunches,
Jess