In Good Company

Remember last week when I was telling you how I had to let the Lord develop within me a vision of who I was as my husband's help mate? Before I could be the "good gift of favor" and his much-needed help from the Lord, I needed to SEE myself that way!

What better way to begin seeing ourselves as a helper than to look directly at the highest, ideal model for all helpers, the Holy Spirit.

Just like God looked at man and said, "Honey, you need some help," Jesus looked at His disciples including all of us and said, "Honey's you need some help. I will not leave you helpless."

And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby), that He may remain with you forever—I will not leave you as orphans [comfortless, desolate, bereaved, forlorn, helpless]...
(John 14:16&18, AMPC)

As a help mate, we are IN GOOD COMPANY with the greatest Helper of all time, the Holy Spirit. He is THE perfect example of how to be a “help mate.” Also a much-needed gift from God (and that for every believer), He demonstrates exactly what we want to do to thrive as a helper.

I LOVE talking about all the wonderful ways the Holy Spirit will help each believer personally every day; however, let’s focus on taking His attributes and connecting them to us as our husband’s help mate, allowing God to penetrate our hearts with this wonderful vision.

John 14:26 says the Holy Spirit is our Helper. That word “helper” is multi-dimensional in that it encompasses six other words: Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor, Counselor, Strengthener, Standby.

While it’s too much to expound on today, I would like to briefly highlight each one of these Holy-Spirit aspects to begin to see how we can grow in becoming stronger help mates for the Hubs:

1. Comforter

While we often think of this word as offering someone solace or sympathy because of something bad that has happened, this word is so much deeper than that.

It gives the idea that you are a safe place for your husband to come to. You are a soft place, you are a happy place, and a comforting sanctuary for him at all times.

When he comes to you, he is confident he can receive freedom and ease from pain, discomfort, and constraint. He doesn’t receive extra stress from you: but when he comes to you, he is relieved of stress; you alleviate any distress and pressure.

No matter what he has or hasn't done, he knows you are going to be like a big comfy blanket he can crawl up into to receive comfort.

2. Advocate

You are his biggest fan and best friend. His greatest supporter and promoter.

Google dictionary says that an advocate is a booster. You energize him and uphold him—rather than draining him, you bring life and refreshment. (The antonym for “advocate” is “critic.”)

3. Intercessor

Buffer, peacemaker; a person who intervenes on behalf of another, especially by prayer.

There are ways we can be a buffer and peacemaker in many occurrences in our husband’s life. You are someone he can come to and share/discuss things with; instead of aggravating and making things worse, you help to bring light, peace, and understanding to a situation.

4. Counselor

Confidant, Specialist, Expert, Guide.

Firstly, confidant: We should be their greatest confidant and listener. When he confides in you, he knows you will listen to him. (I don’t know about your husband, but mine is so blessed when I shut up my opinions and advice and sincerely listen to him, without trying to offer solutions on how to fix his life.)

Next, specialist and expert: Like we said before, we specialize in our individual husband. They are our specialty—meaning we can know how to handle them best—and we each should be an expert on our husband in every area of his life.

Lastly, guide: There are ways you can wisely and prudently “guide” your husband into the right direction while still honoring and respecting his place, and sometimes that will be "without a word" (1 Pet.3).

5. Strengthener

Bolster, Mainstay, Reinforcement.

You bolster your husband and his decisions. Rather than undermining his corrections and decisions with the children, you reinforce them.

You are a faithful mainstay to your husband, he can always count on you to back him up, and he is totally aware of how much you believe in him. He knows your faith in him (and God) causes you to never leave him emotionally—you remain connected.

You empower him with words and actions of strength and faith, enabling him to be the leader and head of your home.

We are not “weaken-ers,” we are strengtheners!

6. Standby

On ready, on call, ready to report for duty.

You are always prepared and willing for whatever direction your husband gives. You are kept ready so you can be of use when needed.

You are flexible and eager to submit and yield to his way, even in times when it seems like the wrong way. Because you trust in God, you are able to trust that He can and will lead your husband.

This one reminds me of a line I once read from a lady minister:

“God stands with you when you stand by your man.”

To wrap this up, we can see how important our job as help mate is—we are in the same league as the Holy Spirit.

Because He is on the inside of us, as we yield to Him, He will empower us in this special job.

Stay tuned for more, next week.

I love you all,

Praying for you,

Jessica