Trouble in the Flesh Part 2

BE Spiritual

In our last email together, we talked about how to stay free from marriage troubles. Being free from marriage troubles... Now doesn’t that sound wonderful.

The Bible says they that marry WILL have trouble; BUT, the trouble is IN THE FLESH (1 Cor. 7:28). The trouble comes when we are operating in the flesh. Flesh is the enemy of God and the cause of fear, pride, and selfishness. As long as our flesh—our unrenewed, carnal nature—is allowed to run rampant, the trouble will run rampant, as well.

If we want our marriages to stay out of trouble, we must stay out of the flesh. The reason so many Christian marriages are having so much trouble is that, rather than living by the Spirit and yielding to the Spirit of God on the inside of us, husbands and wives are living to please their flesh.

I say “Christian” marriages because if you aren’t a Christian, all you have is flesh. Your unsaved spirit is dead, and you can’t even try to operate “by the Spirit.” But for Christians, there is a constant battle between flesh and spirit, and there will be until we get to Heaven. However, I will add: The stronger your spirit is, the weaker your flesh will be, and the battle can become almost nothing…

So, for every Christian, there are two ways of living: by the flesh (which includes selfishness, fear, and pride), or by the Spirit (which includes love, faith, and humility). I like how the Bible puts it in Galatians 5:16 (in a few different versions):

I say be guided by the Spirit and you won’t carry out your selfish desires. (CEB)

What I am saying is this: run your lives by the Spirit. Then you will not do what your old nature wants. (CJB)

If you are guided by the Spirit, you won't obey your selfish desires. (CEV)

In the flesh is where you’ll have abundance of pride, fear, and selfishness—fruit of your carnal, old nature before you were born again. No wonder it comes with so much trouble. But the more in the spirit and by the Spirit you function—according to your new nature—the less trouble you’ll have.

I don’t know about you, but less trouble sounds pretty good to me.

Take it from me, like I told you last time, Matt and I have lived out the difference. Living according to the spirit is the way to go, every day, all day. Marriages and families whose lives are governed in the spirit and by the Spirit have marriages and homes full of life and peace. But fleshy Christians—those who are mostly governed by their unrenewed mind and carnal nature (Please refer to the last marriage letter, “Trouble in the Flesh.”)—have lives headed towards…death. Yes, death.

I didn’t say that. The Bible did.

For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. (Romans 8:6, NKJV)

Now the mind of the flesh [which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit] is death [death that comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter]. But the mind of the [Holy] Spirit is life and [soul] peace [both now and forever]. (Romans 8:6, AMPC)

Living by the Spirit is the only way for any Christian to truly live. This kind of living is abundant with the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22). For a Christian, any other kind of living will leave them unsatisfied, dry, and empty with subpar Godless marriages and homes. Operating according to the Spirit is not as hard as you might be thinking; but it does take a continuous commitment and connection.

Hang on to that word “connection” because we’ll come back to it.

If you want to see life and peace, and all the wonderful and satisfying fruits of the Spirit in your marriage and family, it means you’ll need to BE SPIRITUAL. No brainer, right? You can’t get spiritual results in your life without BEING spiritual. Why would we expect differently?

Christians everywhere, you and me included, are wanting this life and peace—real, true life and peace—in their marriages. And not just in their marriages; they are also wanting to see it in their bodies, in their families and homes, in their jobs, in their finances, in their businesses and in their relationships. Christians everywhere are wanting these wonderful spiritual results their lives, but they are refusing to actually BE spiritual.

This just doesn’t work. I’ll let the Word explain it for you:

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. (Galatians 6:7-8, NKJV)

If you want to see spiritual results, you must BE spiritual. What does it mean to “BE spiritual”? Being spiritual means that you live from, in, and with your spirit by THE Holy Spirit, Who is the Spirit of God on the inside of you. It’s living connected to the Spirit. This is where our soul (which includes the mind, will, and emotions) comes into play. If we want to BE spiritual, we must have and live by a renewed mind (a mind which has been washed in the Word) so we can remain connected to our spirit.

In the last letter, we discussed the utmost importance of renewing our mind to the Word of God. Without going into an even deeper teaching, we know that the Word of God is alive and powerful and like a sharp sword, it divides between soul and spirit. It reveals to you the state of your heart, where you make the decisions to live according to the spirit, or according to the flesh.

God’s word is living, active, and sharper than any two-edged sword. It penetrates to the point that it separates the soul from the spirit and the joints from the marrow. It’s able to judge the heart’s thoughts and intentions. (Hebrews 4:12, CEB)

This mind renewal and soul washing process is what brings us to unity with who we really are on the inside—a newly-made perfect and righteous spirit—and gives us control over our fleshly nature. It’s crucial that we have an accurate viewpoint of who we really are on the inside so we can have a better handle over our flesh on the outside. As Christians, we are called to live from the inside-out. But most are living from the outside-in.

Our flesh is not who we are and our unrenewed mind, feelings, and thoughts are not who we are. Our re-created spirit is who we really are, and if we can get our mind renewed and aligned with our spirit, then we will gain dominance over our flesh. With your spirit and your soul (which include your mind, will, and emotions) on the same side, then it will be two against one and the balance will tip in favor with your spirit, leaving your flesh with no other choice than to submit to the will of your spirit-man. This causes the voice of your flesh to become more and more powerless—weaker and weaker.

It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life. (John 6:63, NKJV)

The living Word of God is spirit and it is life, and it is the only thing that can wash and renew our minds and save our souls, causing us to think differently and act differently. Because we are encompassed about with such an ungodly, fleshly, and carnal world, our souls need saving on the daily. Even as a born-again spirit, we can’t expect to live victoriously and righteously in this world without washing our minds with the Word of God on a regular basis.

I know I’m really expounding on this more than I usually do, but it seems to me that many, many have not been aware of these principles enough to live by them, and their marriages and families have suffered. These are ways of life we should be living by and teaching to our children on a daily basis. This is the only way to live a victorious, Christ-like life.

So today, we need to discuss the other side to being able to walk in the Spirit and BE spiritual, so we can experience life and peace in our homes. While you absolutely need your mind washed and renewed with the power of God’s Word, you also need something else. Not only the Word, you also need a living connection with the Spirit of God—communing and fellowshipping with Him in His presence—being immersed in the strengthening and refreshing presence of God.

Just like our physical bodies need food AND water to survive, our spirits do, too! The Word of God is food for our spirit-man, and the presence of God, communing with our Heavenly Father, is like fresh water for our spirit-man. Just like we need food and water for our physical bodies, our spirits need “food and water.”

The Word of God and the Fellowship of God in His presence work together to give you power over your flesh. Both of these spiritual factors are paramount to the vitality of your spirit.

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. (2 Cor. 13:14, NIV)

True spirituality (living by the Spirit) is having a living connection with the Spirit of God, day in and day out, where you are in constant communication with Him and He with you. You can’t be spiritual without being connected to the Spirit. If you are going to live by the Spirit, you’ll need to get into the spirit. This comes by training yourself to get into the presence of God by communing with the Father by His Spirit.

There are “Christians” everywhere who go to church and do religious things, and many of them even know a lot of the Word, and quote lots of Scripture, but it’s all head knowledge. Their faux spirituality is religious and isn’t living and flowing from their inner being, their spirit man. They are doing what Paul said the Galatian church was doing, “…having begun in the Spirit, [they try to be] made perfect by the flesh” (Galatians 3:3). Their faux spirituality is no longer real spirituality; it has become more of a list of rules and things they know they should do, and they are forcing their minds and carnal nature to obey. But it just isn’t working. Why not? Because they are not living a life of continual communion and fellowship with the Holy Spirit on the inside of them. They are going through “spiritual motions”, but it is not coming from a living fellowship with the Lord, and they are failing. They have lost their joy and peace and are no fun for their family to be around any longer.

You can’t “try” to walk in the Spirit by willing yourself to, or by trying to put the Word into practice like it’s a recipe or a math equation. That’s trying to be spiritual in your own strength (your flesh and unrenewed mind). True spirituality is a result of the love of God and the faith of God dominating your entire being. But the love, faith, and all the fruits of your re-created spirit are born of God through your passionate communion with Him.

But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)

If you are in constant connection and communion with the Lord, fellowshipping with Him and His Word, and He with you, and you’re getting into His presence on a regular basis, then these spiritual results will just automatically FLOW from your life. You won’t have to make it happen—you WILL walk in the Spirit, in faith, and in love. You WILL have joy. You WILL live in forgiveness. And you WILL keep your flesh in subjection to your spirit. These things will just inherently flow from you.

Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” But this He spoke concerning the Spirit, whom those believing in Him would receive… (John 7:37,38)

Being spiritual is living a life connected to God, where you stay connected to Him and He is able to connect to you—all day long. This affects every part of your life. Life itself comes from God and from Him alone, and if we don’t stay connected to Him, this life is not flowing to us freely and regularly, and neither is it flowing from us to our spouses and families.

In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11)

Do you want to know when my marriage is happiest and going the best? Is it when Matt does all the sweetest things—cooks me the best dinner, takes me shopping, brings me flowers, etc. etc.? Nope. Is it when I’m so perfect and sweet to him and I do everything he likes? No. We’ve come to discover over the years that our marriage and home are happiest and the most peaceful when we’ve both been regularly connected to the Spirit—spending time with the Lord and in His presence, and spending time in His Word, feeding on the things of the Spirit. When your life is spent regularly connecting with the Lord, you can’t help but produce fruits of life and peace.

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:4-5, NKJV)

You see, Matt and I are very aware of when it’s time to pray and get into the presence of God. When you’re doing it right, the Holy Spirit will even draw you—lead you—into times of prayer and communion with God. You’ll have a yearning on the inside to steal away; just you and Him. Actually, you’d have to be disobedient to go too long without spending time with the Lord; and being around each other in this spiritually depraved condition eventually becomes noticeably unbearable for one another.

But when we are living a life connected to the Spirit, you can’t help but be patient with your spouse and family; you can’t help but walk in love with them; you can’t help but be gentle and kind and show some restraint. Another biggie, is that the everyday challenges that arise in your life become no big deals. Have you ever had a problem that just seemed so taxing; so grievous?! In reality, it’s no big deal, but to your emotions, your reasoning, and your flesh it just seems so annoying and frustrating? That should be a sign to you that it’s time to get with Jesus! The stronger your spirit being is, the smaller these everyday challenges will be!

When you are living connected to the Spirit—walking in the Spirit with a mind renewed with the Word of God—you can’t help but be full of life, joy, and peace and overflow with good things!

So many are wanting all these things and wondering why they aren’t seeing it.

We can’t be unwilling to do what it takes to have life and peace in our lives and be shocked when we don’t experience life and peace. If you never do anything spiritual—connecting with the Spirit—how can you expect to see fruits of THE Spirit, and fruits of your spirit, operating and flowing in your life? You just won’t.

Why doesn’t every Christian marriage have life and peace going on? Yes, God wants it for all of us. He wants all of us experiencing the fullness of what He sacrificed to give us, so why isn’t everyone automatically living in it? God has to have a just reason to do for you what He isn’t doing for everyone else. If you want to see something different in your marriage, you must be willing to DO something different, but it must be by the Spirit.

You can’t change flesh with flesh. You can only change flesh by the Spirit.

My friend Cassie and I were conversing about these things, and I wanted to share some of what she shared with me: “If people are identifying with the descriptions of a spiritually dry and trouble-filled life and marriage, they may be looking for a way to the love, joy, and victory-filled life you describe but are overwhelmed. When you have allowed your flesh to become a monster, it is not tamed overnight. There isn't a magical switch where you just decide to be spiritual. When you have gotten to this point, the flesh will fight you. The enemy will try to distract you. In my own life, I have found that the best way to get on the right path is to start making small swaps. Like, instead of listening to the radio on my drive home from work, I will pray in the Spirit. Or, choosing to worship God in the shower instead of letting my mind wander or ride a loop…I have noticed that sometimes people need a really easy jumping-off point that gives God something to work with.”

Wasn’t what Cassie said so good? If your flesh has “become a monster,” then you might not know where to start in all of this, and you might need a small step to take. No matter how big you think your flesh is, it’s still not too big for the Word of God and the Spirit of God.

‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' Says the LORD of hosts. (Zechariah 4:6)

Once you decide to begin saying “No” to your flesh, you don’t have to say “No” to everything all at once. Just take baby steps but do start somewhere. My pastor always says that if you don’t start where you are then you’ll stay where you are. So be willing to start small and begin by feeding your spirit-man the anointed Word of God.

Something I have always done that I think is a practical baby step is reading a chapter from the Book of Proverbs every day. Proverbs has 31 chapters, so it is a chapter for every day of the month and it is super easy to keep track of. It’s full of wisdom for all areas of life, especially for interpersonal relationships. Start there for a bit. And then gradually begin adding more to your Bible reading. Add a chapter from the Book of Ephesians or from Galatians, or from the Book of First John. Start with the Word. Get your spirit-man hungry for the things of God. This is just a practical way to begin strengthening your spirit and renewing your mind so you can get to a place of willingness where you are strong enough to make a choice within you that you want to choose spirit over flesh.

Getting to a place where you are regularly spending time fellowshipping with the Lord and with His Word, and with His Spirit, is the goal. Then, you will have the life, strength, joy and grace to be able to walk day by day in the Spirit—in love and in faith.

Some may be saying, “This is too spiritual…”

Guys! The majority of Christians are not spiritual enough! They are so much in the flesh, but they are still expecting spiritual results. Newsflash: Our lives as Christians will never succeed as long as we refuse to be spiritual. As long as you live in the flesh, every area of your life, marriage included, will be less than good. You will NOT experience the life and peace your heart so desires.

For some of you, these are concepts and ways you are not familiar with, But the Lord is calling all of us to come up higher—to a higher way of living and operating.

We can stay where we are, or we can choose to come up.

We accept Your calling, Lord! We choose to come up, so here we come, Jesus!

We love you,

Matt and Jess